Wahey! Back from froz Italia, into moderately not too bad almost mild Nottingham. Back to exams, unfortunately, but that won't stop me tearing shit up in Leicester over the evening of Saturday to celebrate tomorrow's event - HAPPY BIRTHDAY PABLO!. A mumslut revival is alledgedly (?) on the way as well pop kids, although file that with world peace on the 'will happen in 2004' pile.

But let's not forget the even further away, because today, it's time to say HAPPY BIRTHDAY TED'S SISTER!

In other news, Kilroy in tanned and twatty shocker. Yes, the slimey arse has managed to defame 200 million people in one go. He's gone and had a go at 'Arabs' in the facking Sunday Express.

"What do they think we feel about them? That we adore them for the way they murdered more than 3000 civilians on September 11 and then danced in the hot, dusty streets to celebrate the murders? That we admire them for being suicide bombers, limb amputators, women repressors?"

Kilroy. Listen. I hate fucking logic as much as the next man but look:

1. Some Arabs Are Bad People
therefore, 2. All Arabs Are Bad People.

compare:

1. Some Tories Are Bigoted Twats
therefore, 2. All Tories Are Bigoted Twats.

The good old inductive fallacy. Bless him. However, it's fair to say that Kilroy's twattery may well cost him somehow, hopefully the Beeb'll finally get the arsebiscuit off the screen.

What makes spitting so uniquely offensive? Great feature in the Guardian. Best paragraph:

"Spitting, literally, dribbles contempt, and it is the noxious, viscous disdain of the act that makes it such a powerful and intimate insult. Other bodily fluids may be more unsavoury, but applying them into someone else's face requires a degree of effort which, the spitter is effectively saying, the spittee doesn't even merit."

Class.

Because it's being badass recently!

Gawd bless (indeed), the Christian Right in the US. So wound up in their own idealism and interests and faux-morality are they that they don't even see the person, just the case.

'Mentally Disabled Florida Rape Survivor to Carry Pregnancy to Term'. Cheers, Jeb Bush.

and the incredibly sad Terri Schiavo story. I quote from the article:

"It is difficult to know quite what Michael Schiavo (husband) makes of all this. As the Schindlers (parents) sit in their camper van discussing TV talkshow schedules, he has been all but silent, granting one interview in two years. And so, while one version of Terri's life - the one peddled by the Schindler family - remains well known, there is nothing forthcoming from the person who arguably knew her best."

Dignity is not a human right, it seems.

You beauty!

Although understandably the attention has been more on the suicide of Elliott Smith, I'd like to mutter fond farewells to another who has passed away - Jack Elam, aged 84. The name may appear unfamiliar, but if you have ever seen the wonderful Cannonball Run, well, he was the 'lazy-eyed' Doctor Nikolas Van Helsing. He also starred in a 1949 film She Shoulda Said No, also know as 'Marijuana, the Devil's Weed', the fantastically titled Cockeyed Cowboys of Calico County and Once Upon A Time In The West. Nuff Respect.

If food be the music of education, then game on.

Michael Moore responds to criticism of 'Bowling For Columbine'.

I was mildly agog to hear that the cameraman filming Dave Blaine in a box is infact US Indiecinema infant terrible Harmony Korine. Bugger me buttocks, eh?

This is absofuckinglutely brilliant.

It's an anniversary today. Here's the Guardian's acknowledgment of the event. Me, I always feel that this report sums it up a little better.

There's a lovely defence of Big Brother by Caspar Llewellyn Smith in the Observer today.

I had to titter reading the paper on Friday regarding the two UK residents held at Camp X-Ray. Their story was told, and within were detailed some of the tribulations and ludicrosities during their various detentions:

"The two men first were arrested under UK anti-terrorist laws and held at the high security Paddington Green police station. They were told that the reason was a suspect device in their luggage.

They were freed after their lawyer produced an Argos catalogue showing the "device" was a battery charger."

How embarrassing is that?

"A MALAYSIAN man sliced off his own penis, then fried and ate it after taking hallucinatory pills that caused him to hear voices urging him to mutilate himself, police said today." reports Australian source news.com.

He won't be doing that again in a hurry. (via Fark)

The Independent has 20 lies about the war on Iraq and the WMD fandango. We disbelieve, we distrust, we pay no attention, it carries on. Shame.

Elsewhere from the same source, old Silvio's at it again. Living on a different planet, that is.

""No Italian has ever been so persecuted as myself," he (Berlusconi) said, claiming the judiciary "tried to eliminate Signor Berlusconi as it eliminated all the leaders of the centre right".

Despite his ownership of the Mediaset TV empire, influence over state TV and control of some newspapers, Mr Berlusconi claimed that "85 per cent of the Italian press is against this government....I am held in great esteem by the citizens. I am an expressive sort of person. I like joking and saying smart things."
This from a man who got a couple of top newscasters 'dropped' by RAI just over a year ago after he said that they should be banned unless they changed there views. Berlusconi has influence over roughly 90% of Italian broadcasting.