I loved this film so much I have a picture of the poster stuck down my pants RIGHT NOW. Being a poncey twat, I've always held a candle for situationist quasi-anarchic late sixties Paris bollocks, and this not only lit that candle, it also used the Guardian as a shield to prevent it from blowing out.

Michael Pitt, who was pretty damn amazing in Bully, surfaces again here as Matthew, a wet-behind-the-ears American cinephile in l'aforementioned setting. In love with the nouvelle-vague, but unadopted by the cliques of coolsters, Matthew watches the movies of which he is in awe alone. He bumps into Isabelle & Theo (Eva Green & Louis Garrel), a couple of people he recognises as fellow cinephiles, at a student demonstration when battles are erupting with police. Isa & Theo are, it turns out, Siamese twins, and their closeness is kinda freaky, especially to Matthew, who (quite understandably) fancies the arse off of Isabelle. Matthew is invited to stay in the bohemian family home; he gets on strangely, but well with the parents; the poet father of Isa & Theo ends up thinking well of their guest. Eventually, the folks go off somewhere or other and the three plunge into their own, strange world.

Much has been made of the graphic nudity in this film, but I have to say it is absolutely natural and perfectly the point. The whole gravity of the film would be lost without the intensity of some of the scenes; the closeness of the relationships could not be portrayed without the manipulation of the power of sexuality. But Matthew, although he takes a long dip, is merely paddling in what is a dreamworld. The fantastic end to this film, which during its course seems to have romanticised these libertines somewhat, exposes the empitness of an existence based solely on ideals. For such an existence can only be rightly lived in the world of ideas, not in the world of reality.

Intense, with fantastic visuals (oh boy oh boy) and a superb, if slightly cliched in places soundtrack (Hendrix..Vietnam..hmm) featuring the wonderful Francoise Hardy (Tout Les Garcons et Les Filles), with great uses of clips from the films its characters recall with such fondness (A Bout de Souffle has had a couple of watches since I saw this) and a huge, hopeful but ultimately melancholy heart beating throughout, this is a must see. 9/10.

Great acting, especially Naomi Watts, Benicio Del Toro and Sean Penn. First half shite, second half boomshackalacka. Therefore it gets a 7.

Lars von Trier talks about Dogville in the Guardian today. The bloke's a genius, the film's amazing.

Christopher Lee, living legend, has been cut from the final Lord Of The Rings movie. Weird. :os

Lars Von Trier is one of my heroes. He's made some unique, moving, intimate, ridiculous movies (sometimes all at the same time) and his newie, 'Dogville', is premiering at Cannes. The Guardian has a little feature on him today. Respect.

New Fox Reality Show To Determine Iraqi Leader. Quality Onioning.

U.N. orders Wonka to submit to chocolate factory inspections. The Onion still rocks, maan!!

In other news, don't watch 'Requiem For A Dream' with your girlfriend who hasn't seen it before just before going to sleep when there's work the next day. Quote : "I never, ever want to watch that movie again".

And finally, does anyone fancy 'Watership Down' at the Phoenix on Saturday arvo (2:30pm I believe...). It's better than the sequel...

Big love until next time. xxx

Morvern Callar is a girl. Her boyfriend has committed suicide on the eve of Christmas and left on his computer a message to Morvern and a completed novel with instructions for sending it to publishing houses to try and get it bought. She does this for him, but with a slightly amoral touch..

It is unclear how Morvern is dealing with her boyfriends death. She doesn't call the authorities, she doesn't even 'deal' with the body for at least a couple of days. Is she in shock? Is she unable to deal with this happening, or was it inevitable? We really don't know enough to judge. She takes his money (on his say-so) and takes a friend away to Spain for a break and has her own journey into detachment in the process.

'Morvern Callar', starring Nottingham born actress Samantha Morton in the title role, was a 1995 novel by Alan Warner. Esoteric, poetic and dreamlike, these qualities transmute successfully into the film. I haven't seen director Lynne Ramsey's previous effort 'Ratcatcher' but Morvern Callar, despite being greatly flawed, hints that it is worth a view.

The beginning is slow and unsure, although faithful to the novel. The tone is poetic rather than narrative and if you're not receptive to that tactic as a viewer then avoid this film. Personally speaking, I like a bit of a vivid dream feel to my movies, so that was right up my alley.

The first major scene of any aesthetic gravitas is the first party
scene, where Morvern and her fun-loving friend Lanna (played by Kathleen McDermott, who apparently played a stripper in Boon in 1986 but must do pretty well for her age 'cause she looks no more than mid-twenties here) end up getting trashed and getting off with some cheeky boys. There is a wonderous scene in this section involving a boat and Morvern in a black dress that is without dialogue but manifests incredible tension. The psychology of the boatman is revealed via the way he shines his torch towards the vulnerable Morvern.

There are a miasma of little touches that linger in the mind after viewing. The dog on the pool table, the vacant woman in the toilets in the hotel in Spain, Morvern sitting on the corner of the bed of the man whose Mother's just passed away, the rush experienced by Lanna as she stumbles upon carnival time in a little Spanish town whilst loved up. The intense (Aphex Twin?) headcrushing music as she loses herself in a nightclub. The masterful use of Lee Hazlewood's 'Some Velvet Morning' as Morvern turns up for work at the supermarket for the first time after her boyfriend's death. Oh, and the little bits of Boards of Canada and Can on the soundtrack are endearing as well!

All in all, a diversion rather than a classic, but worth a watch if you think you might like it.

The beginning. The music is Echo & The Bunnymen's 'Killing Moon'. The scene is an otherwordly one; mountainous valleys, no movement in sight. We see a boy asleep on the winding roadside that runs through these valleys. It's unclear if he's dead or alive at first, but he stirs. It seems he's fallen asleep after a long bike ride up towards the stars. He awakens and rides home at speed. Welcome to 'Donnie Darko'.

Donnie is a teenager in college, subject to the usual troubles of a mid-to-late teenager. Additionally, he has mental problems, is undergoing regular therapy and has to take regular medication which it appears brings on 'hallucinations'; in particular one of a human size rabbit called Frank who in his first meeting reveals to Donnie that the world is going to end in a little over 4 weeks. Although he has his problems, he doubts the reality of what he's 'seeing' at first; as time goes on he is more sucked in by the visions and things seem to make sense to him. Everything going on seems to be pointing towards some kind of apocalypse, at least in Donnie's own life if not beyond.

Jake Gyllenhaal is perfect as Donnie, who unusually for a 'troubled youth' is presented within a completely supportive and lovely family unit. Slightly spookier is the school, which is introduced by a tremendously shot section soundtracked by Tears For Fears 'Head Over Heels', and which manages to effortlessly introduce the key student characters into the equation without any of them saying a word. It should be noted the story is set in the mid-to-late 1980's, and the soundtrack is deliberately faithful to this.

A dowdier than usual Drew Barrymore plays Karen Pomeroy, a young free-thinking teacher who gets into trouble with the more God-fearing members of the teaching staff. ER's Noah Wyle is superb as Prof. Kenneth Monnitoff, a science teacher who recognises Donnie's high intelligence.

Frank the Rabbit encourages Donnie to commit various destructive acts (flooding, arson). Time travel, a self-help guru - in the shape of Jim Cunningham (Patrick Swayze), a mysterious centurion spinster nicknamed Grandma Death, a jet engine falling from the sky... all elements of DD's off-kilter universe. Slightly Lynchian, admittedly, but not in a rip-off sort of way.

This is one of those movies where you can offer a trillion explanations for what goes on. You can read it so many different ways. The ending is shocking and moving, if a little out of sync with the rest of the film. My initial reading of 'Donnie Darko' was that it was a simple love story, a tale of teenage loneliness gone right then wrong, and that the ending represented what Donnie wished could happen. But the more I think about it, the more I'm sure that watch by watch, my opinion will change. Which is precisely why this is such a great film. There's a helluva lot to it - this isn't extreme abstract cinema, this is a cohesive story which sucks you into its vortex demanding you occupy yourself with it after it has finished. I've not had a movie stay with me as much since the amazing 'Mulholland Drive'.

Not bad for a $4million production and the debut of 27 year old writer and director Richard Kelly. One I'm sure I'll watch at least a half a dozen more times before I can squeeze most of the juice out of it.

I have to say that JCVH was non-stop slapstick/slapdash fun from start to end. The superb soundtrack added a lot to the slightly out of focus photography and superbly hammy comic acting. The musical interludes also elevate this production. The basic plot outline... is that vampires are preying on the lesbian community of a small town, depriving the local clergy (whose hairstyles include an afro and a mohican) of it's congregation. So one of the pastors set off on scooters to track down Jesus, who is fannying around on a beach. They give him a haircut and set him up with sidekick Mary Magnum (below), whose rust coloured jumpsuit is an absolute joy. Unfortunately, whilst out collecting firewood, JC is attacked. But not by the vampires, by atheists (see video clip here - 2.2megs). Super kung-fu skills are henceforth revealed.

The grossest parts of the film involve Dr. Praetorious - who looks like an evil cross between Cat & Josh Homme - and someone's internal organs. The vampires are goth munters, but this ain't no sleaze-flick, no sirree.

There doth follow an ebbing and flowing series of titanic battles betwixt good (JC & MM) and evil (Vampires). Obviously, given vampiric folklore, there is a blur as to whom is good and who is fanged.

I won't ruin the rest of the film, but it involved a masked Mexican Wrestler named 'El Santos', Star Wars character invoking scat-style club singing, and lesbianism. Don't miss it!
- Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter IMDB Entry
- JCVH Official Site (Odessa Filmworks)
- Other JCVH reviews

The BBFC have decided that the new Gaspar Noé flick 'Irreversible', starring former husband and wife Monica Bellucci and Vincent Cassel, can be released to theatres without cuts despite a full-on nine minute rape sequence which required some viewers at Cannes to be treated for shock.

The BBFC did appoint a psychiatrist to help with the decision, so it was obviously not taken lightly. The justification states that the scene is a "..harrowing and vivid portrayal of the brutality of rape" and that it is "...not designed to titillate" and that there is "..no issue of harm (arising) in the context of a cinema release for adult viewing only".
The main objectors to 'Irreversible' contend that movies = entertainment and that therefore any graphic rape scene in a movie is being exploited for entertainment purposes. The film is therefore also accused of doing nothing to help stop sexual violence. If the scene is that harrowing, surely it could have the effect of helping to do exactly that - by raising awareness of the awfulness of the crime? (Obviously not taken in isolation, but as a part of formation of cultural attitudes..)

Well done BBFC for having faith in the general public. It also seems that the initial critical reaction justifies the censor's decision. All too often, films with an extreme sexual 'gimmick' are a crock of shit with only that 'gimmick' to sell the film. Fingers crossed for this one.

Alison tempted me along to see 'Lantana' on Wednesday at the Phoenix Arts. I wasn't especially aware of the film before deciding to go and see it, but the blurb in the Phoenix guide which mentioned reference points such as 'Magnolia' and 'Blue Velvet' sounded promising. To compare 'Lantana' to those movies wholesale, however, would be doing all concerned a grave disservice.

This fine Australian movie is essentially an ensemble piece. The many interwoven characters are well developed, and with a warm subtlety. The character with whom we get the closest relationship is Leon Zat (played by Anthony LaPaglia). Zat is a middle aged Policeman whose marriage is in a difficult spell. He is unfit and slightly emotionally immature, occasionally brutish. We follow Leon's passage through an affair and his turbulent journey as an occasionally violent and unfulfilled man trying to get his life back on track.

Valerie, a relationship counsellor/psychoanalyst (Barbara Hershey) is struggling to get over the killing of her young daughter and there is a mutual distance between how she and her husband John (the superb Geoffrey Rush) are dealing with the situation. She suspects an affair, and this suspicion is played on when a gay client of hers reveals that he is having an affair with a married man.

Jane (Rachael Blake) has occasional sexual liasons with Leon, who attends the same dance class as Leon is dragged along to by his wife Sonja (Kerry Armstrong). Jane, meanwhile, is neighbour to Paula (Daniella Farinacci) and Nik (Vince Colosimo). Jane is a divorcee and in her thirties. She is fond of, but looks down on her latino neighbours. At one point she offers some cash to Nik to help pay the bills. She doesn't really approve of their messiness, especially with them having young kids.

One night, Valerie ends up disappearing after having left a message home to say she is flagging a lift. She doesn't arrive home and the police end up finding her body. Jane finds a stray shoe that she sees Nik throw into the undergrowth late at night. The police are involved, and to Leon's surprise he finds himself investigation the aforementioned item of footwear by visiting Jane's house, whilst Jane is in the middle of reconciliation with her former partner.

I don't want to shade in the gaps too much, but this is an understated delight. Refreshingly simple, despite the broad palette of characters, and engagingly human. It sort of reminded me of Moretti's 'La Stanza Del Figlio' ('The Son's Room') in terms of looking at people damaged by loss as well as on the level of emotional depth of the characters.

All in all, this is a great, subtle and moving picture with a moving ending and a couple of twists along the way.

- Roger Ebert's review of 'Lantana'
- The IMDB entry for 'Lantana'
- Bikkit.com's review of 'Lantana'.

I went to see Pedro Almodovar's latest tonight. Talk To Her is about two women in comas and the men who passionately love and care for them. This may not seem a barrel of laughs, but it's a beautful story with some lovely quirks and adroit twists in the plot. There is a sexuality subtext which is examined in a subtle manner, and a glorious black and white short silent film inserted in the middle as a clever plot device (which just happens to be incredibly symbolic and funny as well). I'm knackered, so I'll leave it to The Guardian's Peter Bradshaw to talk about it in more detail. Ni ni!

I saw 'The Guru' last night. Amusing in places, good pisstakes of rich spiritual it-girls. I still say Heather Graham's got a minging face though. Can't be arsed to review it properly, but suffice to say it's alright Saturday night fayre. Which is kind of appropriate I suppose.

The first thing I knew about 'Italian For Beginners' was that it was a Danish Dogme film. Anyone who knows me will know I would already be slightly moist by this point. 'IFB' is undoubtedly closer to 'Mifune' than to 'The Idiots', which means an easier ride, certainly, but by no means a less entertaining one. Indeed, it's possibly the least Dogme-ish film of the lot so far, if you know what I mean.

'IFB' shares an actor with 'Mifune' as well, namely the fantastic Anders W. Berthelsen (Pastor Andreas). Andreas is a substitute Pastor, following an unsavoury incident involving the aggressive former Reverend Wredmann and an organist and a balcony.

Along the way, we meet many characters, who share membership of an Italian evening class, run by a charismatic letch with a heart problem. Much of the action is set in a complex consisting of a hotel, restaurant, stadium and hair salon.

Olympia (Anette Støvelbæk) is a clumsy girl who works in a bakery by day and tends to her oppressive housebound father by night. Karen (Ann Eleonora Jørgensen) is the hairdresser, whose crush (below left) on Halvfinn (Lars Kaalund) provides a lovely comic motif through his abject failures to obtain a haircut from her. Halvfinn works in the restaurant with the lovely Italian Giulia (below right), who has a crush on the psychosomatically impotent Jørgen Mortensen (superbly played by Peter Gantzler). Jørgen is an intensely unfulfilled man, both emotionally and career-wise, where he is facing demotion from his job as a receptionist. The underlying reflection of the story is that of liberation through loss. Pastor Andreas' wife passed away 6 months previously as a result of schizophrenia undiagnosed (she was very religious, they just presumed....), both Karen and Olympia are drained by the single parent that they still see, and when Halvfinn is faced with losing the only job he knows how to do his world is turned upside down. Gradually, partially through the Italian class (which sort of represents the exotic excitement that's missing from their lives) they manage to pull each other through their trials and tribulations. The inspirational Pastor finds strength from his cohorts and helps Jørgen's confidence with Giulia, as well as playing a key role in the lives of Karen and Olympia.

Deeply emotional throughout, but played with a deft comedic touch and true heart, this is a nicely blended, highly moving fable which had me in turn laughing my arse off and crying my heart out.